Lately, I have been reading about other people’s life-altering crises, crises that have led to great successes, crises like Lisa Fittipaldi’s, which I discussed in my previous post. Â Despite being legally blind, Lisa became a painter of colorful, realistic art. Success
Reading through her story brought my very own emerging story into sharp focus. my very own crisis has provoked self-awareness.Â it’s also stimulated growth, exponential growth.
But the expansion isn’t without setbacks. It isÂ not without sleepless, tearful nights. It isÂ not withoutÂ self-doubt, self-pity, and loneliness. Epiphanies come quickly, but change may be a process, often a slow and painful process.
There is nothing romantic about it.
The theme fromÂ Rocky doesn’t play within the background at 4 a.m. when you’re getting up to travel to the gym. No team douses you with champagne and carriesÂ you on its shoulders afterÂ you’ve stayed up late writing. No ovation erupts after you complete a song, and they’re probably are going to be no interview with Oprah, a minimum of for a short time.
Learning to be an excellent artist, an excellent friend, an excellent entrepreneur, an excellent loverÂ begins with asking questions of yourselfÂ and facing truths about yourself: What do I want toÂ achieve my goals? Why don’t I even have it? What am I able to do to urge it?
Recently, I readÂ Matt Frazier’sÂ blog post about the way to go from just ok to excellentÂ (http://www.nomeatathlete.com/on-turning-pro/). Matt said he realized that he had to “grow the hell up.”
I’ve given myself some version of that speech, but during the past few months, I’ve realized that before
I am often my best and live my dreams I need to seek to know myself and to possess compassion for my unconscious.
it’s a strong ally but sometimes misguided in its attempts to guard me against emotional harm.
I’ve had to research my tendency to procrastinate, my tendency to isolate myself in times of stress.
I’ve had to take a seat alone with loneliness, Â fear, and insecurity until I could sit comfortably with them.Â I’ve had to admit my shortcomings. Success
It’s truly amazing what percentage half-truths you’ll tell yourself. It’s surprising how you’ll magnify the tiniest accomplishments to justify not doing the maximum amount as you’ll have done.
As I sat reading about Lisa Fittipaldi, a tremendous woman who taught herself to try to do something that a lot of people said was impossible, it became clear that the primary step to success is getting real with one’s self.
That’s what Fittipaldi had to try to do before she could even start learning to color.
She had to urge real with herself about why she wasn’t
getting the assistance she needed to function as a blind woman.
She had to admit that her lack of trust and her Â inability to connect Â with people made it difficult to urge her needs met. She also had to admit that losing her sight clothed to be a blessing in some ways, mostly because it made her faceÂ ugly truths about herself. It made her want to vary. It also made her challenge herself as she never had. Success
“Just get real with yourself” sounds easy, doesn’t it?
It isn’t easy. Getting real with yourself is often embarrassing. Getting real with yourself canÂ feel humiliating.
I rememberÂ way back helping an elderly woman tidy her house. As I opened cabinets and cleaned behind furnitureÂ roaches ran out of dark places into the sunshine. They were everywhere. Â So I took this woman to the shop to shop for bombs to fumigate the place, but she was embarrassed and proclaimed loudly, “I do not have roaches.”
She and that I knew there have been many roaches therein house. We both knew that the sole thanks to getting obviate them was to de-clutter then exterminate. ButÂ first she hadÂ to admit (at least to herself) that they were there. Without that admission, there would be no action to clear her home of the pests.
Not long ago I beat myself up regularly over this, but recently I’ve begun to practice compassion for myself. I realize that my unconscious is protecting me.
It’s protecting my established patterns, and that I just need to override it, Success
an equivalent way I had to override my untrained body once I started exercising again after being sedentary for years.
Author Kristin Moeller calls this “fierce disruption of the standard .” In other words, if I would like to becomeÂ the simplest version of myself, then I even have to try to do something different, evenÂ though my wrestler mindÂ tries toÂ pin me to the established order.
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