Toxic Behaviours Stealing Your Happiness
Whilst other people and situations do influence your wellbeing ultimately it is you. It is your reactions, your behaviours and your thoughts that determine how happy and joyous you are. However, it is also you that promotes negativity. Witty Rogue Names
Many of us without even knowing host an array of toxic behaviours that influence us in a bad day, stealing our joy completely. By identifying what these habits are you can break them, so here we list the reoccurring toxicities.
Comparing yourself to others. Nothing can suck the joy right out of you faster than falling into the comparison trap. The key is to remember that we are all uniquely different with our own strengths and weaknesses. Nobody on this earth is quite like you… and that’s a good thing.
Being overly connected to technology. Being overly connected robs us of the present moment. While social media is great, make sure you are putting more time and energy into living your own life than watching other peoples lives unfold online. Life in this moment is the most rewarding. Set healthy tech boundaries and stick to them. And, then watch your happiness levels soar.
Taking things personally. Know this: Happy people don’t attack others. Send them your sympathetic thoughts and a mental hug and move on with your life. And, instead of thinking about the phrase “haters gonna hate,” think: “likers gonna like.” We attract more of what we focus on, so don’t let the negative Nancys get much of your attention. Focus on your tribe of peeps that will always have your back, instead. They’re the ones that matter most!
Striving for perfection. Nothing stifles creativity and negates any chance of being happy faster than the quest for perfect. Unless you’re a robot, you’re built to make mistakes. In fact, some of your biggest “failures” can be some of your greatest learning and growth experiences. Try striving for excellence instead.
Holding onto your vision too tightly. Holding on to your vision like you would hold on to a baby chick. You want to hold it ever so gently because you know what happens if you squeeze it too tight. So, next time you feel yourself trying to control the outcome, just think about those sweet baby chicks and ease into the flow.
Re-living the Past. The past is gone. We will never get a chance to do it over. So, why it so often we cling to it and live it over and over in our mind? It’s important to embrace our past, accept our past, heal what needs to be healed, but then let go. Embrace the power of now and learn to live fully in the present moment. Checkout for the more details about the teaching emotional regulation skills.
Worrying about the future. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Yet, we live so many of our “todays” in anticipation of what will happen next week, next month, next year. Sure, it’s important to think about the future and plan for it. But, no amount of worry or stress is going to make it any different, and certainly not any better.
Not making self-care a priority. When taking care of so many others, it’s easy to put our own self-care on the back burner. But, in doing so, we allow ourselves to become stressed, overworked, and unhappy. And, the bottom line is this: If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t take care of anybody else very well either.
Taking life too seriously. Yes, life is serious. But, at the same time… it’s totally not. We’re here to have fun, to learn, to make mistakes, and to do it alongside others who are also finding their way. Loosen up a bit. Enjoy the ride. Don’t forget to laugh, be goofy, savour, and enjoy life!
So now you know what the habits are, break them! Understanding that you are in control of your own happiness is the first step.
Here Is How To Make Time For You
I have a strong believer that “me time” is one of the most important times. Not only does it help you relax and unwind but it gives you time to reflect. It is during “me time” that you discover your inner most desires and needs. I am not alone that belief, numerous psychologists agree its is vastly beneficial.
However, finding me time can be a constant struggle for many. We spend the majority of our days at work and then our evenings with our spouses, children, family and friends. So how amongst all this business can you a find a well needed moment for you? Here we offer some handy tips on doing just that.
1. First, decide that you deserve some time to yourself each day.
Stop feeling guilty for taking time out for you, and realise in the long run, it’s a win-win for everyone. When you are tired, stressed out and pulled in too many directions, it is hard to give your best to all you must accomplish. Remember, self-time is not selfish—it’s a necessary dimension of self-care!
2. Decide how best to spend “me” time.
How each of us chooses to spend free time is as individualised as we all are. If you had an extra 15 minutes, a half hour, an afternoon or an entire day, what would you do to make yourself feel rejuvenated, relaxed and happy? Write a list and keep it handy when you begin scheduling time into your calendar.
3. Change your daily habits.
Get up early and find your Zen. Kruger rises between 5 and 5:30 a.m. and has breakfast with her husband before he leaves for work. “The little ones don’t start their day until 8:30 or 9, so I use those few hours in the morning to get myself together, to write and to just enjoy the peace and quiet.”
4. Simplify everything else.
When you don’t have as many social commitments, as much shopping to complete or a big house to keep up, there are more opportunities for personal time. Learn to say “no,” at least sometimes, to friends’ requests; try not to over-schedule your children’s activities; and learn simple ways to incorporate fun family activities that don’t involve an entire day at the zoo.
5. Commit to a minimum of 15-20 minutes of “me” time every day.
Do something (or nothing) that completely lets go of responsibilities and releases your mind, allowing you to be alone with your thoughts.
6. Create a daily ritual.
This can be a bath, listening to music, taking a walk or meditating. Make it something you can look forward to. Years ago, when my children were small and life felt too hectic and overwhelming, I created a ritual for “me” time. I decided it was well worth it to get up 45 minutes before the rest of the family to enjoy my coffee and breakfast in solitude. To this day it’s my time to read, daydream or just bask in the sounds of silence. Looking forward to this time, and a coffee pot on a timer, gets me out of bed with a smile on my face.
Above all, do not feel guilty. You deserve me time, everybody does. The first step to making time for something is to understand that you are worthy of it, WHICH YOU ARE! Happy me time people.
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