Your job is to avoid the temptation and the trap
So first of all I want to say that loneliness every humanWitty Rogue Names
being feels at some point in their life and that it is not a sign of weakness it is a feeling and no feeling could ever be a sign of weakness.
A feeling or emotion is simply
what you are feeling so never apologise for it, if you ar
e actually acknowledging them and expression
g your feelings this is a sign of strength,
don’t fear what people may think!
Simply be who you are and say what you are feeling,
the right people will always be there for you.
If you can honestly say you have not felt loneliness
at any stage in your life then you are simply blessed (and I want to hear how ha-ha).
‘I couldn’t understand why I felt so alone’
An incident occurred a month ago where
a person was really rude to me and this left me feeling awful.
That day I reluctantly got out of bed, thinking maybe
if I made myself my favourite breakfast that might cheer me up,
but it didn’t. So I thought ok I will have a shower and get dressed
up that will definitely work, but it didn’t either. After some retail
therapy and trying to call some of my friends for a catch up to which
I got voicemail messages I felt even lonelier.
I couldn’t understand why I felt so alone,
I have so many friends and a huge supportive f
amily but that is exactly how I felt, completely alone.
I knew I needed to do something drastic to change
how I was feeling. So as I was walking along the street
I began thinking what can I do to get out of this slump
and then it hit me. Eureeeeekka. I’m always reading about it,
I’ve researched it, wrote about it and went
to speeches about but had completely forgotten.
‘I was created to be loved’
I had forgotten I was created to be loved! I had forgotten for nearly
a whole day that I am loved. Each and every single
one of us was created to be loved and whether
we know or not I’m telling you know you are!
Please take some comfort in this fact alone.
You do not need to have a million friends in fact
you could have none, no family, not even one single human being
who cares about you but you are still loved.
Whatever you call this power who loves you God,
the universe, Allah, the supreme self, the light,
the higher power or even if you believe in nothing fortunately
for us it is not a choice we were created for
this purpose so believe me YOU ARE!
If it helps think of the love you feel from your
friendships and try and imagine that but ten times stronger
and unceasing even if you did something horrendous
a really horrible thing this would still not stop this flow of love towards you.
That is because in is unconditional.
Doing this alone will help you realise you are whole by yourself;
you do not need any one to add to you,
YOU are whole and loved completely in mind body and soul.
This can sometimes be a struggle for everyone from all
paths to understand as society almost always suggests
otherwise but I dare you just try and sit quietly
for a few minutes feel it, focus on your heart and the
warmth in it and you will know it to be true.
YOU ARE LOVED.
Expelled, Expired, Exit: What Does Everyone’s ‘Ex’ Have In Common?
I was heartbroken our first time,
I had done the worst part by taking the first sting.
We re-kindled after a year, affections reappeared
and we were the best of friends that we could be.
However, friends cannot have warm romantic feelings
. Friends do not kiss and are not deeply and
emotionally intimate the way lovers are
. It was by far one of the most meaningful relationships I’ve ever had.
I have always broken up with someone on t
he basis of how I’ve felt.
When feelings faded, I made
my way out with heartfelt apologies and disapp
eared out the backdoor. This time it was different: I still loved him. I have never had to part from a lover still having feelings.
He had an arranged marriage. H\
e had to put another woman first
although he still loved me. Even so, I could no longer remain as the woman on the si
de. I had come to the realisation that I technically was still single.
I was emotionally unavailable to love
another, but was still lonely. I couldn’t live an hon
est life. I had read Katharine Hepburn’s biog
raphy Me, and something moved me.
After thirty years, I never wanted to
be referred to as “Just a rumour.”
As much as we connected, the
reality was that the relationship
wasn’t going to go anywhere.
We hit the same wall, several times.
“Your job is to avoid the temptation and the trap
of thinking every relationship has to be the
e relationship that lasts forever
r and ever amen” Iyanla Vanzant go
es on to explain once the spiritual purpose
of that relationship, has come to an end you basically
need to let go of your exes and wait upon for the new relationship.
Elizabeth Gilbert gives us a different d
efinition of soulmates stating that we
think are forever. But they are just to wake
us up out of who we are, take us to the core and go
. We mustn’t hold on longer. Or we are just trying
the gain nutrition from something that is now empty. These ideas comfort me.
Se,e going back to an ex- boyfriend only satisfies a craving for whatever it is you are missing. It is like watching a movie second time round,you know exactly how it’s going to end, without the surprise. You cannot beg to make someone choose you, but nonetheless you deserve to be chosen.
I am still friends with another ex, but.
it’s different when you have no feelings, and depending on the depth of emotions I doubt you could ever just be friends if you did. It’s just not an ideal situation. You need to make yourself completely available for your next lover.
He advised me:
“Have an arranged marriage, this way you will know love, imagine your sisters buy a dog, you hate animals, I know, but they left you alone with it and then it came to you, eventually you will learn to love it”.
I replied…
“You are referring to your wife as an animal?”
He said no, I may learn of a different type of love, contrasting to the love he felt for me. He woke me up from all by emotional patterns, poor decisions in love. Also gave me a taste of how love should feel. That was the ending when I knew I wanted more. Best part was being strong enough to go.
After a sentimental send off I realised cutting the cord was the best thing I could have ever done for both bof us.
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